The Hawt Cinema Presents: “DJ Mag 2012”

djmag videos

     It’s that time of year again. As EDM continues to spread its influence throughout the world, passionate fans ready their Facebook accounts to partake in DJ Mag’s annual popularity contest. While the limitations of this survey counterfeit its relevance, validity and integrity, it remains the best tool for measuring the ebbs and flows of mainstream dance music. Ever since its inception, the Hawt has greatly enjoyed belittling this farce in anticipation of arguable sell-outs–David Guetta for example–topping the list. Don’t get me wrong; the major role Guetta and those like him play in giving dance music the spotlight it deserves should earn him the first position. However, the rankings are supposed to reflect proficiency in DJing. Or is it production skill? Who knows, but one thing remains for certain: dabbling in mainstream will get you a significant amount of votes. So as EDMers everywhere argue about David’s upcoming repeat as DJ Map champion, we take a more light-hearted approach and countdown this year’s top 10 campaign videos.

     Before we begin, lets set one thing straight. Of the few artists trying to entice voters with moving pictures, we excluded all travel and live show montages. There are innumerable videos of this sort on YouTube, all more boring than the next. DJ/producers are supposed to have creative minds; why can’t they put them to use towards a different medium? We also pushed aside the mindless clips of artists simply asking fans to vote, or those that asked famous friends to do it for them. Note that we commend everyone who used a modicum of effort and originality, the order in which they appear is purely subjective. Let’s start the countdown, shall we?

T-10. Armada, Nervo and Miss Nine

armervine

     Handing out flyers, asking for a vote and a recycled ad for the 2008 US elections, respectively: these don’t really deserve a spot in our countdown. However, tall foreign women who use clothing sparingly.

9. Giuseppe Ottaviani

ottaviani

     Essentially, Ottaviani jokingly blames his difficult to spell name for his lack of placement in the poll. However, I think his video may be counterintuitive. What’s to stop voters from misspelling his name if they expect to get flashed by some MILF teacher? Nevertheless, simple, smart and humorous concept.

8. Dada Life

     Dada Life’s YouTube channel is notoriously asinine and their 2012 campaign video is no different. Speaking to the people of EDM as the “Ambassadors of Dadaland,” the pair give us a short State of the Union address, all the while looking uncharacteristically stiff and nervous. Sure, they are explicitly asking fans to vote and there is a short live show montage at the end, but Olle’s stammer is worth a inclusion in our top 10. '”Fucking bananas,” indeed.

7. Daniel Kandi

     This clip is the picture of simplicity and exactly what we mean we when ask DJs to be creative. Kandi’s live show montage is dubbed with vocals from himself, with lyrics that urge his fans to vote for him. Both reasons we used to justify excluding so many others combined in an original manner. Many bonus points to you, sir.

6. Nicky Romero

     This is what fans want; a glimpse into DJs’ lives. Nicky Romero paints a portrait of his of livelihood before and after his rise to fame. Where other producers try to make you laugh, the young gun gives viewers a frank look at the past few years and solemnly thanks all who support him. Concise, truthful and effective somehow makes for a decent clip.

5. Karanda

karanda

     How dare you play with our emotions! Karanda shows us a cute plush monkey, then puts it through unspeakable acts of torture and threatens to continue doing so unless we vote for him. The furry mammal is forced to listen to Justin Bieber, is dangled above a fiery pit and is targeted with a sniper rifle. Will you surrender to the blackmail?

4. Ferry Corsten

corsten

     Did you know that Ferry Corsten’s happiness in contingent on that of his fans? That’s the message he communicates as he performs usually pleasant activities alone. Bowling, backgammon, air hockey: nothing can get him out of his funk. That is, until he comes on stage and plays in front of a large crowd as the words “You Happy Ferry Happy,” flash across the screen. Who wouldn’t enjoy a Ferry Corsten set?

3. Marcus Schossow

paris facebneder

     We really like Marcus Schossow’s sense of humor. It’s profane, blunt and straight to the point in the best of ways. In continuing with simplicity, his video features prominent mock DJs Paris Hilton and DJ Facebender (the latter of Steve Lawler’s creation), who could both be in contention for this year’s Razzie awards. All he does is place a caption at the bottom of the screen that reads: “Don’t let this shit happen.” It’s that easy.

2. Arnej

arnej cooking

     One of this year’s lengthier videos, Arnej’s boasts the most creative concept of them all. As the clip seemingly prepares us for a movie trailer of epic proportions, we are suddenly transported to a kitchen for an episode of “Cooking with Arnej.” Dolled in proper chef attire, Arnej figuratively runs over Rachel Ray as he throws food out the window and instead teaches the audience how to cook a track. All the while, he is accompanied by little text bubbles that tell corny jokes, our favorite of which being: “For a blue ball, he sure looks happy.”

1. Steve Aoki

steve aoki

     Whether it’s his copy of 50 Shades of Grey, his love for tacos or his rocket powered shoes, Aoki’s video is packed with laughs for anyone who can appreciate non-sequitur. His calm demeanor adds to the hilarity of his head being attached to an eagle, or being zapped onto the Moai and the Sphinx with the help of his spaceship’s statue-morphing laser. To boot, Steve’s clip is the most quotable of the lot, with Lil’ Jon making an appearance to exclaim: “Wassup this is Lil’ Jon. I voted for Steve and now I’m in fkn space maan.” Brilliant all-around, Steve Aoki has this year’s number 1 DJ Mag campaign video.

Honorable Mentions: Tritonal, Mark Ursa, Bjorn Akesson, Marcus Schossow in Latin America and Sied van Riel.

The boobie prize goes to Sander van Doorn, who uploaded not one, but TWO travel/live show montages. Shameful…

     Being somewhat indecisive with who would get my fifth vote in this year’s poll, I told myself that the winner of our campaign video countdown would receive my seal of approval. And so it is decided, my 5 artists this year are: Eric Prydz, Above & Beyond, Mark Knight, Gabriel & Dresden and Steve Aoki. If you haven’t made your selections yet, make sure you do soon; voting ends on August 29th at 7:00 AM. Follow this link to vote.

Finally, here’s an updated events schedule, old-school Ellis-style. The links send you to the online ticket counter:

August 30th – Maya Jane Coles @ SAT, $20

                    – Martin Solveig @ New City Gas, $20

August 31st – John O’Callaghan, Beat Service and Sneijder @ Circus Afterhours, $20

                    – Alesso, Mark Knight, Cogorock and Jaytech @ New City Gas, $30

September 1st – Dirty South, BT and Lazy Rich @ New City Gas, $20

September 2nd – Misstress Barbara @ Piknic Electronik, $12

                         – Markus Schulz and KhoMha @ BeachClub, $15

                         – Axwell, Stefano Noferini and Max Graham @ New City Gas, $30

                         – KhoMha and Mr. Pit @ CIrcus Afterhours, $20

September 3rd – Claude VonStroke @ Piknic Electronik, $12

September 8th – Sebastian Leger and Riva Starr @ Piknic Electronik, $12

                        – Steve Angello @ New City Gas, $30

September 14th – Aly & Fila @ Circus Afterhours, $20

September 15th – AN21 & Max Vangeli @ New City Gas, $15

September 16th – Oliver$ @ Piknic Electronik, $12

September 20th – Albin Myers @ Underworld, $25

September 21st – Max Graham and Protoculture @ CIrcus Afterhours, $20

September 22nd – Thomas Gold @ New City Gas, $15

September 29th – Joachim Garraud @ New City Gas, $15

This entry was posted on Monday, August 27, 2012. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response.

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